Dark Anniversary

Today is the dark anniversary for me. My father died 2 years ago today of a massive coronary.  Somehow it just seems ironic that he would die of heart failure.

My father was a great man. I understand that, according to his peers, he was quite a fantastic  lawyer as well as an extremely intelligent person. Of course we all knew he was book smart. He wasn’t so much of a family man, though. At least not to his blood kin.

I put together a bunch of photos that I had shot two years ago, durring the reception following the memorial in his honor, at the West Hartford Country Club in Connecticut. I apologize for taking so long to post these, but maybe today was a more appropriate day to do so, anyway.

I put them on facebook and I made them accessible to anyone.

Unlike usual, I used no Photoshop, so sometimes the light is a bit dark as I haven’t corrected it.  This is kind of unusual for me, as I am a graphic designer.  I just felt an urgency to get these online today.

If there are any particular shots that you would like me to clean-up, by all means ask me.  I also didn’t throw away any of the blurry headshots when other people were in the frame because I don’t get to take photos of this side of the family very often.

You can right-click any photo and save it to your local PC if you want a copy, I am sure.

The Link:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=94950&id=1628191759&l=12df1b7f91

Be sure to share this link with anyone whom you might think is interested.  Every photo there is for sharing with family and friends.

Thanks…
Love & Peace
-Doug

Paul Iverson Memorial Today

There will be a memorial for my cousin Paul Iverson today at 11:00am at the Heritage Funeral Home (on South Minnesota Avenue at 57th Street) in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Paul died of multiple system failure at Sanford Hospital in his room on the 6th floor on the Saturday morning of July 25th, 2009.

Paul was my favorite cousin. We went to SDSU at the same time and enjoyed taking a break and watching the older (more violent) cartoons together, laughing at the toons, but eventually we would guffaw at each other’s funny laughs. You know, the kind of laughter you only let out when you let your guard down because it can be embarrassing? We both believe that laughter has a great healing quality and is great for the soul.

Paul was an excellent draftsman. He was well educated, very talented, extremely smart, mild mannered, had that great sense of humor and wit, and was a great friend to all who were fortunate enough to know him.  Paul cherished his family and friends above all.  He just loved spending time with my son, Max.

Paul was also a crack shot with the rifle, a real shark when it came to playing pool, and he loved old movies and TV. He didn’t ever have a computer, though only this year when I showed him my Sony laptop loaded with Windows Vista, he actually said that now he might consider getting one now, as they seemed to be more reasonably designed and user friendly. I insisted, as I do now, that we are still in the dark ages as to usability.

Paul Iverson is survived by his wife Julie Iverson. Although Julie had divorced Paul, they remained close. But she did not want to be his enabler and hoped he would change his ways. Unfortunately, Paul did not make that wake-up call and his vices eventually killed him.

But Paul was not scared of death. He knew Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and had no quams with meeting his maker.

Paul took care of his aging father at the end of his life, who has recently lost his wife (and Paul’s mother, Joan). Unfortunately, his father Jim now has to bury his son.

We will all miss him, but we know he is in a better place with his mother and other members of his family.

Rest In Peace, Paul. I love you, man.

My Cousin is on His Death Bed

My best cousin Paul is lying in his death bed.  The hospital has removed his life support and are just trying to make him comfortable.  He would have wanted it that way.  He was not afraid to die, he new Jesus Christ is his Lord and Saviour.  And he would not want to be confined to a bed in long term care even if they could save him.

My cousin loved life.  He was a great guy.  I had many friends and he clearly ranked amongst the very best of them.  He loves his family and friends.

His wife is clearly distrought.  Although she had divorced him in order to shock him into changing his bad habits,they did remain close and I know that Paul cherished his relationship with her.

I don’t know what to say, what to do.  Because I can’t.  I can’t do anything. I feel weak and alone. Though we both tried, we clearly could not fix him.  Though others tried, he did not seem to feel as if he needed fixing.  In many ways he fixed me, many times.  But we couldn’t do anything for him.

No one wanted to enable him.  There were long periods of isolation as when we tried to make our point.  And although it often seemed that our point had sunk in, he was also a smart, clever, funny guy that knew just how to win us over again.  And we had already missed him too long.

Often I thought that he got it.  He completely understood, I am certain of it.  But he could not help himself and learned how to fool the whole world.

He isn’t fooling anyone now.  We aren’t laughing together anymore.  He does not know how sad his condition makes us, how deeply his distant soul effects us, because knowing how much he did love his family and friends, he just wouldn’t have done this to us.  He couldn’t have, if he had known how terribly this tradgedy effects us.

Still, I love that man.  He was the sober voice in many of my relationships, helping me understand where I have gone wrong.  Yet he was always at odds with his own relationship with hisself.

We all wish we would have done a better job.  But he was so good at hiding his pain.

I don’t want to miss him, ever.

And yet, I know I will, always.

Still, I pray for a miracle.  Please Lord? I know you have sent me many.  Is another asking too much?

We laughed together, even at each other once we realized the other was making us laugh harder.  We knew laughter was good for the soul and had great healing properties.  I want to make him laugh again.  I need him to laugh. I don’t want to lose him.